STOP DRINKING PEASANT JUICE. UPGRADE YOUR DNA.
The world's first genetically resurrected, bio-engineered status symbol. For those who don't just chase success—they buy it, paste a sticker on it, and drink it in front of you.
THE COMMODITIES: CHOOSE YOUR FLEX
Specialty coffee deserves
YEARS OF
ANARCHY.
THE VIBE
Art-world elitism. Distilled essence of a punk rock riot, packaged by evil scientists in a facility that definitely has health and safety certification from at least one dimension.
THE FLEX
Ordering this tells the barista, "I have so much money I can afford to legally fund a dinosaur cloning facility just to make my morning flat white slightly more ironic."
626 GRAMS
OF PROTEIN
PER CARTON.
VERY EXPENSIVE.
LUXURIOUSLY SEXY
AND SPORTY.
THE VIBE
Biological supremacy. Physical impossibility. Practically wet concrete. But physics is for the common people. You don't want to live like common people. You don't want to drink whatever common people do... because you want your morning microfoam to have been engineered from the dominant signature of a species that had no predators. You want dominance, not just data. Apex predator latte art.
(Note for the record: As we established, 626 grams of protein in a liquid pint is a literal physical impossibility that would result in a solid brick of matter, but in the Q888 universe, we proudly ignore the laws of physics if it means a better flex).
THE FLEX
"I don't just work out; I ingest the apex predator of the Jurassic period. My latte art is heavy enough to break your jaw."
THE INFOCIGAN WEALTH TRAP
(The Store)
DAIRY FUTURES
Dyno Milk is currently in Phase 4 of Genetic Incubation.*
*Disclosure: We have absolutely no idea what Phase 4 means, but the milk is promised to be delivered by the year 2028 ± 1 light year. Yes, a light year measures distance, not time. If you care about that, you are too poor for this product.
The true elite don't wait for the milk to spill. They buy the dairy futures.
THE ROI PROMISE
By purchasing a 'VERY EXPENSIVE' holographic sticker today, you are investing in the Infocigan ecosystem. Stick it on your laptop. Let the masses know you are an early backer of synthetic dinosaur bio-fluids.
When Dyno Milk hits the cafes of Edinburgh, your sticker will be the only proof that you were rich before it was cool.
THE CHECKOUT
THE BLIND FAITH FLEX
Sight Unseen Allocation.
I am currently designing the first wave of investment stickers. I will not show them to you. If you need to see the art before you buy it, you lack the vision required for this tax bracket.
⚠️ Confirm your net worth status to unlock investment tiers.
£25.00
Hyper-limited 1/10 first-edition holographic sticker. Sight unseen. Ultimate flex. No refunds. No previews. No excuses.
TBD
Wait and see. Open edition. Secondary design. For those who need to see the art first. We understand. We don't respect it, but we understand.